Stella Awards Case Log

OPPORTUNISTS AND             )
SELF-DESCRIBED VICTIMS       )
                             )      StellaAwards.com
    Plaintiffs,              )
                             )      pleading before the
           vs.               )
                             )      Court Of Public Opinion
ANY AVAILABLE DEEP POCKETS   )
AND THE U.S. JUSTICE SYSTEM  )      begs the court to take notice that
                             )
    Defendants.              )      The Following Cases Already Heard
_____________________________)

May it please the court: Quite a few cases have already been presented to the Court of Public Opinion. Earlier case write-ups are in the True Stella Awards book. The summary of included cases is here.

TSA Caselog: 2005-2006
Issue / Date Cases Presented

#57
12 Jan 05
Featured Case: Another roundup of shorts to catch up with 2004 cases:
Men used as inspiration for movie characters sue over it -- more than 10 years after it was released -- yet their lawyer says it's not because it's a big money-maker ("They're not the type of people who are out to get a cheap buck.") Uh huh.
Woman sues after a car wreck, claiming the auto manufacturer was at fault because it "failed to provide instructions regarding the safe and proper use of a seatbelt."
Family claims man's death was the direct result of a performing chef flipping a shrimp toward him and sue the restaurant.
Woman commits fraud to get a no-limit credit card and runs up a nearly million- dollar debt. When credit card company sues her, demanding she pay her bill, she counter-sues, claiming the company "knew or should have known that [she] was acting impulsively and irrationally at the time."
94-year-old woman wins lottery jackpot -- payable over 20 years. She sues to get the full amount immediately since "you know I'm not going to live 20 years."

Letters: Readers line up to vow they'll never buy anything from Sharper Image again, and call the case write-up the best and most well-explained ever. But an attorney pooh-poohs the issue, saying one SLAPP case is not representative of all possible SLAPP cases. Well, duh! Reader "Ellen" wants a special award -- and gets it.

#58
31 Jan 05
2004 Finals! Read the final case line-up for 2004 here.
Updates: Big Game Hunter loses his case against his ammunition supplier. Several "obese people sue McDonald's" cases reactivated.
Letters: Readers weigh in on whether lottery woman should get it all now just because she's 94 -- even the lawyers tell her to take a hike. Readers mightily amused by the Ellen Award.

#59
16 March 05
Featured Case: Teens bake cookies for neighbors as an anonymous gesture of good will, but one neighbor gets scared when she hears them on her front porch -- and sues them. When she wins(!!) and crows about it in the newspaper (and on CNN!), she's shocked (shocked!) that everyone in town now hates her.
Letters: Readers respond to the 2004 Award choices.

#60
27 Apr 05
Featured Case: Frat brother goes to party at frat house, gets drunk, and decides that a shallow pool of water would be a good place to do a belly flop. When he breaks his neck doing it, he sues the fraternity for $25 million. Maybe he should have known better: he was a certified lifeguard!
Featured Case #2: Woman picks doctor out of the phone book to do her liposuction. When she has complications, she says she never would have chosen that doctor had she known he wasn't Board Certified in the procedure. (She believed the phonebook over asking the doctor, or looking for a certificate on his wall?!) So she sues ...the phone company. And wins.
Letters: We're running few cases for several months as Randy works on the True Stella Awards book. A huge response from readers about the "cookie girls", including a cranky Scottish lawyer.

#61
29 Jun 05
Featured Case: Woman buys "Less Sugar" cereal for her kids, but this nutrition-minded shopper didn't bother to read the label to see whether the cereals were actually more healthy than regular sugared cereals (they're not; they just have less sugar, as the package says). Who's to blame for her not thinking to check the nutritional qualities that are so important to her? The cereal manufacturers, of course: she sues them, asking for class action status.
Letters: Readers debate the pros and cons of the frat brother's suit, the phonebook lawsuit, and complain about the cranky lawyer from Scotland.

#62
27 Jul 05
Featured Case: Ski instructor crashes into child on ski slope. Forget the universal written law of the slopes (you have to watch where you're going): she sues the poor little girl in federal court because (sob!) her injuries mean that she can't have a lucrative modeling career! The jury sends a message to the prima donna: "Take a hike."
Letters: Numerous readers on a sugar buzz lecture cereal mom on how to make a proper breakfast for her kids while others support her. Readers continue to debate the merits of the frat boy's case.

#63
10 Aug 05
Featured Case: Wild bird "attacks" woman outside a home improvement store causing head injuries. Yes, outside the store. Yet she still holds the store responsible for "allowing" wild birds to fly around free in the air, and sues.
Letters: Readers are confused about the rules of ski slopes, so Randy -- and other readers -- make it clear.

#64
14 Sep 05
Featured Case: What, another lottery case? Woman plays her favorite Lotto numbers -- 1-2-3-4-5-6 -- and, when she hears a test recording of the "winning" numbers (the test numbers being, of course, 1 through 6), she sues for her "temporary total psychological injury" (whatever that might be). That, even though the rules clearly state that tickets must be validated to be considered winners.
Letters: Readers are dumbfounded by the bird-brained woman.

#65
12 Oct 05
Featured Case: Car crashes into river, and 75-year-old woman passenger sinks with it. Rescue divers arrive within minutes and get her out, but she suffers brain damage from her near-drowning. She sues the car's driver -- but also the brave rescue workers who saved her life.
Letters: Several lawyer readers offer their opinions on why the Lotto woman sued; they range from condemnation to support. Readers debate the meaning of Shakespeare's "Kill all the lawyers" line, reaching an interesting conclusion.

#66
2 Nov 05
Featured Case: Man is mystified by professional magicians, so he sues to demand they reveal their secrets to them, or pay him as much as $50 million. The basis for his suit: he claims that they defy the laws of physics, and thus must be using "godly powers" -- and since he is god, they're stealing that power from him!
Letters: If people sue volunteer rescuers for doing their jobs, will anyone volunteer to rescue people in trouble? Rescuers and doctors weigh in -- as well as a lawyer who defends the suit.

#67
16 Nov 05
Featured Case: Couple build house right on a county line, and pay property taxes in both counties. But to which school district should they send their kids? The state Department of Education says they can choose either one, so they (of course) choose the better one. Several years later that district sues, saying they don't really live in the district -- and the state Department of Education backs the school district!
Letters: Readers are astounded at the magician lawsuits, but one well-known pro writes and begs to be sued too! Lawyer who cannot spell "ridiculous" or "frivolous" expounds on what he thinks is ridiculous or frivolous; he also berates Randy for being "anti-lawyer" -- while at the same time expressing his universal disgust for the type of lawyer he hates (divorce attorneys).

#68
30 Nov 05
Featured Case: Jail inmate decides to join escape attempt, but when he falls out his cell window and is severely injured, he sues the jail, its warden, eight guards, three county commissioners who hadn't even been elected when he made his escape, and more.
Letters: Readers say the big lesson from the school case is: always get every bit of government advice in writing, and keep it forever! International readers debate whether the U.S. system is "great and highly admired throughout the world" -- as a letter-writer put it.

#69
21 Dec 05
Featured Case: Woman nearly killed in accident, and the health insurance she got from her employer pays out big. She then wins a lawsuit, which the court says is for her future care -- the court even put it in an irrevocable trust for her -- and her health insurance company sues her, demanding she turn over the trust fund to them instead.
Letters: Readers debate what to do about lawsuits filed by prisoners.

#70
11 Jan 06
Featured Case: Woman claims late-night TV host David Letterman sends her secret "messages" (e.g., referring to Oprah Winfrey is really "code" for talking to her), so she files for a court order demanding Letterman stay away from her. And the court approves it, thus restricting Letterman's civil rights!
Letters: Readers debate the merits of the health insurance company's "subrogation" claim, and why didn't the woman's lawyer protect her better from such a claim? Reader charges that because the woman's employer is Wal-Mart, this case is somehow anti-Wal-Mart. Yeah, right.

#71
25 Jan 06
Featured Cases: Catching up with 2005: § Man whose butt was glued to a toilet seat at home improvement store says "This is not Home Depot's fault," but he sues them anyway. § Man overdraws his own bank account, and sues the bank when they charge him an overdraft fee. § Man sues Netflix CD-by-mail company, gains class action status, and the settlement is so bad both Netflix customers and an association of class action attorneys object to it -- yet the man's lawyer says it's a "very good settlement" (yeah: he gets $2.5 million!) § Woman's check for car insurance bounces, so her policy is canceled -- yet she sues them demanding they cover her damages in an accident, and wins! § Woman's hair spray clogs, so she opens the bottom with a can-opener -- near an open flame. She's killed, so family sues the hair spray manufacturer, demanding $110 million. § State trooper killed by methamphetamine cooker, who's convicted and sentenced to death. Not enough, his widow says: she sues cold medicine manufacturers and retailers, saying they're responsible since their products are illegally used to make meth.
Letters: Readers, including a doctor and a psychologist, decry the judge buying into the Letterman woman's delusions. Readers debate whether judges should be elected or appointed.

#72
31 Jan 06
2005 Finals! Read the final case line-up for 2005 here.

#73
8 Mar 06
Special Issue: Cherie Booth Blair (the Prime Minister's wife, a barrister) issues a new textbook -- on how to sue public entities. The London Telegraph asks Randy to introduce the True Stella Awards to their British audience -- and comment on what he thinks could happen in U.K. courts with the publication of her how-to manual. It's no difficult task: they're already starting down the same path the U.S. is on when it comes to outrageous lawsuits.

#74
17 May 06
Featured Cases: § Lawyer sues eHarmony because it won't let him register for dates -- because he's married. § How are federal agency tribunals being abused like the courts? TV news anchor files EEOC complaint against his station -- because it won't let him take a second full-time job in broadcasting. Never mind that he signed a contract giving them an exclusive on his broadcasting talents!
Letters: More on Britain's growing lawsuit problems.

#75
12 Jul 06
Featured Cases: Tragic: Daycare owner is mowing lawn, and drives over young boy, killing him. His parents, however, don't sue the daycare operator since they have only $100,000 of insurance; instead, they sue ...the lawnmower manufacturer! And win. § Comic: Even though he is shorter, lighter, and older, man says people tell him he looks like basketball star Michael Jordan. While that's "definitely a positive thing," the man thinks the resemblance entitles him to compensation. He thus sues both Jordan and Nike shoe founder Phil Knight -- for $416 million. Each.
Letters: Reader argues eHarmony's survey is suspect; Randy argues back. Many readers have something to say about the news anchorman. An employee of the EEOC comments on the process the anchorman is going through. Reader asks Randy to supply contact info on the people who sue so readers can harass them; no way, he replies: two wrongs don't make a right.

#76
1 Nov 06
Featured Cases: Arranged marriages are still a fact of life in India. But when an immigrant family in the U.S. arranges for a back-home wife for their son, they are shocked that she's "ugly". They thus adopt an American tradition: they sue her family. § College student falls out of bed and is slightly injured. He sues the bed manufacturer, and wins because the bed did not have a warning label. But the manufacturer appeals, and the judge says an adult should not have to be warned that he could fall out of bed, quashing the verdict. Randy editorializes on just how stupid warning labels are getting, and how one state is making the problem worse. § Due to demand, the True Stella Awards book publisher pushes out the paperback edition early. This week it was in Amazon's Top 15 for nonfiction, and in their Top 50 for all books sold.
Letters: Readers are outraged over the lawn mower case, starting with a 14-year-old babysitter who has more common sense than the jury in the case. Even a woman whose son died in a daycare says she wouldn't sue in such a case.

#77
15 Nov 06
Featured Cases: Woman says she was "attacked" by a squirrel at an outdoor mall -- she sues because there was no sign warning her that there are animals in outdoor areas. § Postal clerk makes joke about old lady's packages -- she's mailing fruitcakes. She's so upset about the one remark she sues the U.S. Postal Service.
Letters: Readers debate the merits of warning labels.

#78
17 Jan 07
Featured Cases: Web site sues Google because Google won't rate them highly. It demands money and that Google be forced to reveal its trade secrets and publish a good rating for the web site, calling Google's actions a violation of its Constitutional right to free speech (!!). § FBI agent goes on drunken driving binge, crashing his truck. His lawyer says he pled guilty to drunk driving because "we expect [public officials] to own up to their mistakes and correct them." So why is the agent suing the manufacturer of his truck, and the dealer that sold it to him? § TV series shows a character improperly using a garbage disposer, resulting in a grisley injury. Yet the company that made the disposer sues NBC, since the scene ""casts the disposer in an unsavory light."
Letters: Reader sides with the woman "attacked" by the mall squirrel. Another reader has a good point about the Fruitcake Lady.

#79
31 Jan 07
2006 Finals! Read the final case line-up for 2006 here.

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http://www.StellaAwards.com/caselog2.html
Updated: March 2007

Issue / Date	Cases Presented
#57 12 Jan 05	Featured Case: Another roundup of shorts to catch up with 2004 cases: Men used as inspiration for movie characters sue over it -- more than 10 years after it was released -- yet their lawyer says it's not because it's a big money-maker ("They're not the type of people who are out to get a cheap buck.") Uh huh. Woman sues after a car wreck, claiming the auto manufacturer was at fault because it "failed to provide instructions regarding the safe and proper use of a seatbelt." Family claims man's death was the direct result of a performing chef flipping a shrimp toward him and sue the restaurant. Woman commits fraud to get a no-limit credit card and runs up a nearly million- dollar debt. When credit card company sues her, demanding she pay her bill, she counter-sues, claiming the company "knew or should have known that [she] was acting impulsively and irrationally at the time." 94-year-old woman wins lottery jackpot -- payable over 20 years. She sues to get the full amount immediately since "you know I'm not going to live 20 years." Letters: Readers line up to vow they'll never buy anything from Sharper Image again, and call the case write-up the best and most well-explained ever. But an attorney pooh-poohs the issue, saying one SLAPP case is not representative of all possible SLAPP cases. Well, duh! Reader "Ellen" wants a special award -- and gets it.
#58 31 Jan 05	2004 Finals! Read the final case line-up for 2004 here. Updates: Big Game Hunter loses his case against his ammunition supplier. Several "obese people sue McDonald's" cases reactivated. Letters: Readers weigh in on whether lottery woman should get it all now just because she's 94 -- even the lawyers tell her to take a hike. Readers mightily amused by the Ellen Award.
#59 16 March 05	Featured Case: Teens bake cookies for neighbors as an anonymous gesture of good will, but one neighbor gets scared when she hears them on her front porch -- and sues them. When she wins(!!) and crows about it in the newspaper (and on CNN!), she's shocked (shocked!) that everyone in town now hates her. Letters: Readers respond to the 2004 Award choices.
#60 27 Apr 05	Featured Case: Frat brother goes to party at frat house, gets drunk, and decides that a shallow pool of water would be a good place to do a belly flop. When he breaks his neck doing it, he sues the fraternity for $25 million. Maybe he should have known better: he was a certified lifeguard! Featured Case #2: Woman picks doctor out of the phone book to do her liposuction. When she has complications, she says she never would have chosen that doctor had she known he wasn't Board Certified in the procedure. (She believed the phonebook over asking the doctor, or looking for a certificate on his wall?!) So she sues ...the phone company. And wins. Letters: We're running few cases for several months as Randy works on the True Stella Awards book. A huge response from readers about the "cookie girls", including a cranky Scottish lawyer.
#61 29 Jun 05	Featured Case: Woman buys "Less Sugar" cereal for her kids, but this nutrition-minded shopper didn't bother to read the label to see whether the cereals were actually more healthy than regular sugared cereals (they're not; they just have less sugar, as the package says). Who's to blame for her not thinking to check the nutritional qualities that are so important to her? The cereal manufacturers, of course: she sues them, asking for class action status. Letters: Readers debate the pros and cons of the frat brother's suit, the phonebook lawsuit, and complain about the cranky lawyer from Scotland.
#62 27 Jul 05	Featured Case: Ski instructor crashes into child on ski slope. Forget the universal written law of the slopes (you have to watch where you're going): she sues the poor little girl in federal court because (sob!) her injuries mean that she can't have a lucrative modeling career! The jury sends a message to the prima donna: "Take a hike." Letters: Numerous readers on a sugar buzz lecture cereal mom on how to make a proper breakfast for her kids while others support her. Readers continue to debate the merits of the frat boy's case.
#63 10 Aug 05	Featured Case: Wild bird "attacks" woman outside a home improvement store causing head injuries. Yes, outside the store. Yet she still holds the store responsible for "allowing" wild birds to fly around free in the air, and sues. Letters: Readers are confused about the rules of ski slopes, so Randy -- and other readers -- make it clear.
#64 14 Sep 05	Featured Case: What, another lottery case? Woman plays her favorite Lotto numbers -- 1-2-3-4-5-6 -- and, when she hears a test recording of the "winning" numbers (the test numbers being, of course, 1 through 6), she sues for her "temporary total psychological injury" (whatever that might be). That, even though the rules clearly state that tickets must be validated to be considered winners. Letters: Readers are dumbfounded by the bird-brained woman.
#65 12 Oct 05	Featured Case: Car crashes into river, and 75-year-old woman passenger sinks with it. Rescue divers arrive within minutes and get her out, but she suffers brain damage from her near-drowning. She sues the car's driver -- but also the brave rescue workers who saved her life. Letters: Several lawyer readers offer their opinions on why the Lotto woman sued; they range from condemnation to support. Readers debate the meaning of Shakespeare's "Kill all the lawyers" line, reaching an interesting conclusion.
#66 2 Nov 05	Featured Case: Man is mystified by professional magicians, so he sues to demand they reveal their secrets to them, or pay him as much as $50 million. The basis for his suit: he claims that they defy the laws of physics, and thus must be using "godly powers" -- and since he is god, they're stealing that power from him! Letters: If people sue volunteer rescuers for doing their jobs, will anyone volunteer to rescue people in trouble? Rescuers and doctors weigh in -- as well as a lawyer who defends the suit.
#67 16 Nov 05	Featured Case: Couple build house right on a county line, and pay property taxes in both counties. But to which school district should they send their kids? The state Department of Education says they can choose either one, so they (of course) choose the better one. Several years later that district sues, saying they don't really live in the district -- and the state Department of Education backs the school district! Letters: Readers are astounded at the magician lawsuits, but one well-known pro writes and begs to be sued too! Lawyer who cannot spell "ridiculous" or "frivolous" expounds on what he thinks is ridiculous or frivolous; he also berates Randy for being "anti-lawyer" -- while at the same time expressing his universal disgust for the type of lawyer he hates (divorce attorneys).
#68 30 Nov 05	Featured Case: Jail inmate decides to join escape attempt, but when he falls out his cell window and is severely injured, he sues the jail, its warden, eight guards, three county commissioners who hadn't even been elected when he made his escape, and more. Letters: Readers say the big lesson from the school case is: always get every bit of government advice in writing, and keep it forever! International readers debate whether the U.S. system is "great and highly admired throughout the world" -- as a letter-writer put it.
#69 21 Dec 05	Featured Case: Woman nearly killed in accident, and the health insurance she got from her employer pays out big. She then wins a lawsuit, which the court says is for her future care -- the court even put it in an irrevocable trust for her -- and her health insurance company sues her, demanding she turn over the trust fund to them instead. Letters: Readers debate what to do about lawsuits filed by prisoners.
#70 11 Jan 06	Featured Case: Woman claims late-night TV host David Letterman sends her secret "messages" (e.g., referring to Oprah Winfrey is really "code" for talking to her), so she files for a court order demanding Letterman stay away from her. And the court approves it, thus restricting Letterman's civil rights! Letters: Readers debate the merits of the health insurance company's "subrogation" claim, and why didn't the woman's lawyer protect her better from such a claim? Reader charges that because the woman's employer is Wal-Mart, this case is somehow anti-Wal-Mart. Yeah, right.
#71 25 Jan 06	Featured Cases: Catching up with 2005: § Man whose butt was glued to a toilet seat at home improvement store says "This is not Home Depot's fault," but he sues them anyway. § Man overdraws his own bank account, and sues the bank when they charge him an overdraft fee. § Man sues Netflix CD-by-mail company, gains class action status, and the settlement is so bad both Netflix customers and an association of class action attorneys object to it -- yet the man's lawyer says it's a "very good settlement" (yeah: he gets $2.5 million!) § Woman's check for car insurance bounces, so her policy is canceled -- yet she sues them demanding they cover her damages in an accident, and wins! § Woman's hair spray clogs, so she opens the bottom with a can-opener -- near an open flame. She's killed, so family sues the hair spray manufacturer, demanding $110 million. § State trooper killed by methamphetamine cooker, who's convicted and sentenced to death. Not enough, his widow says: she sues cold medicine manufacturers and retailers, saying they're responsible since their products are illegally used to make meth. Letters: Readers, including a doctor and a psychologist, decry the judge buying into the Letterman woman's delusions. Readers debate whether judges should be elected or appointed.
#72 31 Jan 06	2005 Finals! Read the final case line-up for 2005 here.
#73 8 Mar 06	Special Issue: Cherie Booth Blair (the Prime Minister's wife, a barrister) issues a new textbook -- on how to sue public entities. The London Telegraph asks Randy to introduce the True Stella Awards to their British audience -- and comment on what he thinks could happen in U.K. courts with the publication of her how-to manual. It's no difficult task: they're already starting down the same path the U.S. is on when it comes to outrageous lawsuits.
#74 17 May 06	Featured Cases: § Lawyer sues eHarmony because it won't let him register for dates -- because he's married. § How are federal agency tribunals being abused like the courts? TV news anchor files EEOC complaint against his station -- because it won't let him take a second full-time job in broadcasting. Never mind that he signed a contract giving them an exclusive on his broadcasting talents! Letters: More on Britain's growing lawsuit problems.
#75 12 Jul 06	Featured Cases: Tragic: Daycare owner is mowing lawn, and drives over young boy, killing him. His parents, however, don't sue the daycare operator since they have only $100,000 of insurance; instead, they sue ...the lawnmower manufacturer! And win. § Comic: Even though he is shorter, lighter, and older, man says people tell him he looks like basketball star Michael Jordan. While that's "definitely a positive thing," the man thinks the resemblance entitles him to compensation. He thus sues both Jordan and Nike shoe founder Phil Knight -- for $416 million. Each. Letters: Reader argues eHarmony's survey is suspect; Randy argues back. Many readers have something to say about the news anchorman. An employee of the EEOC comments on the process the anchorman is going through. Reader asks Randy to supply contact info on the people who sue so readers can harass them; no way, he replies: two wrongs don't make a right.
#76 1 Nov 06	Featured Cases: Arranged marriages are still a fact of life in India. But when an immigrant family in the U.S. arranges for a back-home wife for their son, they are shocked that she's "ugly". They thus adopt an American tradition: they sue her family. § College student falls out of bed and is slightly injured. He sues the bed manufacturer, and wins because the bed did not have a warning label. But the manufacturer appeals, and the judge says an adult should not have to be warned that he could fall out of bed, quashing the verdict. Randy editorializes on just how stupid warning labels are getting, and how one state is making the problem worse. § Due to demand, the True Stella Awards book publisher pushes out the paperback edition early. This week it was in Amazon's Top 15 for nonfiction, and in their Top 50 for all books sold. Letters: Readers are outraged over the lawn mower case, starting with a 14-year-old babysitter who has more common sense than the jury in the case. Even a woman whose son died in a daycare says she wouldn't sue in such a case.
#77 15 Nov 06	Featured Cases: Woman says she was "attacked" by a squirrel at an outdoor mall -- she sues because there was no sign warning her that there are animals in outdoor areas. § Postal clerk makes joke about old lady's packages -- she's mailing fruitcakes. She's so upset about the one remark she sues the U.S. Postal Service. Letters: Readers debate the merits of warning labels.
#78 17 Jan 07	Featured Cases: Web site sues Google because Google won't rate them highly. It demands money and that Google be forced to reveal its trade secrets and publish a good rating for the web site, calling Google's actions a violation of its Constitutional right to free speech (!!). § FBI agent goes on drunken driving binge, crashing his truck. His lawyer says he pled guilty to drunk driving because "we expect [public officials] to own up to their mistakes and correct them." So why is the agent suing the manufacturer of his truck, and the dealer that sold it to him? § TV series shows a character improperly using a garbage disposer, resulting in a grisley injury. Yet the company that made the disposer sues NBC, since the scene ""casts the disposer in an unsavory light." Letters: Reader sides with the woman "attacked" by the mall squirrel. Another reader has a good point about the Fruitcake Lady.
#79 31 Jan 07	2006 Finals! Read the final case line-up for 2006 here.